Invisible

February 9th, 2006

Many times as a mother I feel invisible. Like when I take my son to Wal-Mart. I am so focused on holding his hand and not letting go, because if I let go for two seconds, someone will take him. I am so focused on getting what we need, paying, and getting out of there without incident, that I rarely look another person in the eye while there. It’s the same at restaurants sometimes. I am consumed with making sure he eats, doesn’t make too huge of a mess, and doesn’t distract the other patrons enough to give us dirty looks. I eat my food quickly so that I can help him eat his, so he won’t get too bored and start pitching a fit. All of this leaves me feeling invisible.

It’s like when Sammy covers his eyes to hide. If he can’t see you, then you can’t see him. If I don’t look another person in the eyes all day long, then noboby has seen me either, it feels. There’s no connection made. What to do? I don’t know. I’m not particularly depressed about this revelation. It is something that has just come to light, and I thought I’d better get it down before the lucidity of thought escapes me.

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Entry Filed under: Being a Mom